Story by Alyssa Crutcher
Starting college can be an intimidating experience. Going from a 2,000-student high school to a 30,000-student university is enough to make anyone feel lost in a sea of thousands. While the number can seem scary, college is actually the perfect time to find your place and stand out as an individual.
It is no secret that the social norms in high school revolved heavily around physical looks and personality. I, for one, constantly found myself in fear of judgment if I wore anything or acted in a way even slightly over-the-top. Things like stereotypes, gender-norms and bullying were much more prevalent for those acting outside of the norm.
Because of this, new college students often see more opportunity for significant change in themselves once their college years begin.
Anna Li Richards, a freshman international relations and political science double major, is working on finding her place at the UofA by joining clubs and a sorority to meet new people, she said. Having freedom away from home and schedule-wise has helped her open up more.
In high school, Richards’ identity was more grounded in her athleticism. She was extroverted and social, but identified more as an athlete than as a student, she said.
“In college, I’m not doing sports,” Richardson said. “I’ve just been focusing on adjusting to the first semester with the course load and how it’s different from high school. I meet people, join clubs and stay active.”
Right now, Richards is more focused on getting into the groove of figuring out what she’s interested in career-wise and hobby-wise, mixing in the fun with the serious, too, she said.
Acclimating to your new school environment and finding groups and clubs you feel you belong in is important to the growth of young students. It can also be helpful to get involved with organizations or people who don’t match the interests you had in high school. Opening yourself up to new possibilities is essential to self development.
Callista Scott, a freshman international relations and political science double major, has furthered in her identity with the LGBTQ community after starting college and attending the LGBTQ affinity group. She has known for several years that she is pansexual, but has recently embraced exploring her gender identity and the more masculine side of herself after pushing it away in high school, she said.
“It’s something I’m embracing in college now,” Scott said. “I feel like I was scared to admit I was more than a girl in high school. I pushed it to the side for years. Part of me always had this thought that I can be gay but I can’t be too gay. It’s okay to like girls, but being a boy would be too much for my family and (hometown).”
It has always been known that college is more open with its rules and standards. Today, many universities encourage freedom of expression, whether it be verbally, the way you dress, personality-wise and many other ways. Entering that kind of environment after leaving an environment that may have been the opposite can be freeing.
Sometimes, things as simple as a more relaxed dress code in college can help someone express themself, which helps with the finding of their identity — at least that’s how it was for me.
After attending a religious protest on campus and seeing other students voicing their opinions confidently, Scott realized it’s okay to say what she thinks and admit to herself that she’s not just a girl, she said.
Before starting at the UofA, Scott and Richardson both knew they’d change in some way, but didn’t expect the changes they’re currently experiencing, they said.
“I knew I was going to change because college does that,” Scott said. “But I thought it was just going to be me becoming more mature as an adult and living that lifestyle.”
Richardson expected to be more reserved, but has ended up being more open-minded, she said.
“(My identity) has grown,” Richardson said. “I’ve become more open-minded about different people’s personalities even if we disagree on certain things or have different personalities. I’ve definitely learned to work through that and compromise more and be more okay with going with the flow.”
Looking toward the future, Richardson and Scott both believe their identities will continue to grow, they said.
Richardson said she thinks meeting more people and getting more involved will definitely help her learn from others. She feels better and likes herself more now than she did in high school, she said.
After “laying down low” in high school, seeing all the different styles and personalities of students when I was a freshman made me realize an identity can be found in more ways than I originally thought.
Scott expects to continue to change. She hasn’t found her gender identity yet, but has found her pronouns, which are she/he, she said.
“I don’t feel the need to label myself this early because there are so many terms out there,” Scott said. “I could be any of them. I don’t know which one yet so I need to do more self-exploration to figure it out. There’s a lot of room for change. College will absolutely help me with self-exploration.”
Now, having found herself a little more than when she was in high school, Scott feels like more of her feelings have explanations. She used to have body image issues and realizes now that it may be because she didn’t want to have the body of a girl the way she did, she said.
“Let yourself think ‘Maybe I’m not this way. Maybe I’m more than I thought I was’,” Scott said. “You might be unhappy for a long time and college is a good place to navigate that and figure out who you really are.”
Although her body image issues are still there, Scott said she has a much better support system than she did in high school and has found people she can talk to without censoring anything out, like she felt she had to do in high school.
To incoming UA freshmen, Richardson and Scott both emphasize the need to be open-minded.
“Know you’re not going to agree with everyone or come from the same background as other people,” Richardson said. “Be patient and understanding with others (because) we’re all coming together from different places and experiences and things. Just learn to compromise and be really open with people.”
Scott suggests letting yourself be open to new ideas and to not put yourself in a box and restrict yourself.
“College is much more accepting and, in a way, a playground to find yourself,” Scott said. “You’re studying for your real career and trying to find your own identity, who you really want to be for the rest of your life. While, of course, that doesn’t have to all be done in college — you have the rest of your life to figure it out — but I do think it’s a really good time to work on it.”