I wanted to experience the health benefits of a vegan diet. Here’s why it didn’t work for me.

 

By Ella Ruth Hill

Feb. 1, 2019
 

Skimming the thick, laminated menu in panic, I read each ingredient carefully. The waitress returned to take our order, and with the sweetest soft smile I could muster I said, “I’ll have the queso blanco burrito, with no eggs, sausage or queso.”

I watched her eye twitch. Apologizing profusely, I handed her my menu and explained to the rest of the table, as if I owed them a well-reasoned explanation.

I created my own meal like I had multiple times before – like a latte with almond milk or a sweet potato hash without the meat – because that was day 11 of my vegan diet challenge.

I’ve eaten meat my entire life. Meat is normal. Encouraged, even. My mom used to tell me that I need less sugar, less carbs, and more protein. I wasn’t taught that protein comes from more than just meat, which is probably why I found anyone who refrained from eating it to be a little strange.

I grew up in Niceville, Florida, a small town on the panhandle that most people don’t think is actually real. The town stretches only a few miles down one main road and is vastly conservative. It’s a mix of young military families and older couples that graduated from Niceville High School and never left. There are seafood shops at every corner and the smell of bonfires on late summer nights. I can’t remember a meal my mom cooked that didn’t have meat.

I didn’t grow up cooking with my mom like most southern women seem to. I taught myself once I got to college, and now it’s one of my favorite hobbies. I’m always reading through cookbooks, following the latest “Insta foodies,” and trying new recipes a few times a week. My eating habits changed drastically once I started learning more about the food I was cooking. I believe in protein and something green at every meal. I believe in grass-fed beef, free-range chickens for both meat and eggs, and anything certified organic by the U.S. Department of Agriculture. I also believe in a fresh pot of coffee at 3 p.m. and cooking for a full table.

But what I didn’t believe in before March 22, 2018, is a 100 percent plant-based diet. In fact, I was the first person to ask, “Why?” when I heard someone is vegan.

But that day was different. That day I decided I wouldn’t have eggs or bacon or chicken sausage. I wouldn’t eat my typical lunch of chicken stir-fry either. “Clean eating” was about to take on a new meaning. And no matter how faithful I was to coffee dates, out-to-eat invitations or Chick-Fil-A College Night, that next 30 days would be different. Because on that day, I became a vegan.

 

Day 1

My vegan journey started at Whole Foods as I searched for creative ways to eat anything that was compliant. But what am I supposed to eat? What about eggs? Amid the fear, excitement flowed through me because I thought, What if this works for me? What if I feel good, healthy and naturally energized?

The vegan section, even at a health food store, consists of just two small doors of refrigerated shelves, about three feet wide. I scanned – shredded “cheese” made from a long list of ingredients, including palm fruit oil and potato starch, and a light-brown package disguised as sliced deli meat. I picked it up, tried to imagine it on a sandwich and returned it to its small, likely unloved home. This section also held tofu, a soy-based protein that I had tasted only one time before because my roommate cooks plant-based meals every now and then. I didn’t know that tofu came in different kinds of toughness: soft, firm, extra firm. I grabbed a box of extra firm, put it at the bottom of my cart and walked away from that section as quickly as I had arrived.

Whole Foods on College Avenue in Fayetteville sells tofu and other popular vegan foods. Photo illustration by Kevin Snyder
 

By the end of the trip, I had a cart full of vegetables, dairy-free cream cheese made from almond milk, coconut-milk yogurt, sprouted-wheat bagels, tofu bacon, a box of veggie burgers and seaweed. Except for the veggies, these were all foods that I had never even tried.

I’m constantly on the latest health-food kick, seeking out superfoods and the best possible things I can put in my body. Growing up with migraines starting at only 9 years old required me to be on medicine for nearly a decade. It wasn’t until I started feeding my body with clean foods that I finally went off medicine, and the headaches began to dissipate naturally. So my hopes in going vegan were that I would become the healthiest version of myself, providing my body with maximum nutrients while also avoiding meat and dairy. While I was filled with optimism, I worried that my lack of meat, and eggs especially, would lead to a higher carbohydrate intake. It’s easy to call sprouted-grain bread vegan, but whether it’s better for me than a fried egg is a different question. I wasn’t intentionally trying to lose a certain number of pounds. Instead, clearer skin, more energy and better sleep were the main benefits I was seeking.

 

Day 7

For the last week, I’ve eaten a lot of bagels with dairy-free cream cheese, veggie burgers and sweet potatoes. I felt ok. Just ok. Then, I went to the World Language Fair at the University of Arkansas, where different language classes recruit new students. There were different cultures represented, candies set up around the room and a long table in the back with barbecue. Free food is free food, so I got in line and filled my plate with baked beans and pickles, like some sort of weird pregnancy craving.

The woman serving food noticed my bare plate and said, “Are you a vegetarian? We have a veggie burger.”  Before I could answer, she plopped a burger wrapped in foil right on top of my baked beans. The burger had a strange texture. It was difficult to eat because it kept falling apart like a heavy burrito, but the taste wasn’t bad.

That was the most welcome I felt during my short stint as a vegan. I felt seen and understood, which is silly, because it was just a burger made of beans. I felt most comfortable and safe at a world language fair – surrounded by people who were different than me in more ways than race or language. We’re all different, and that’s okay.

My interest in veganism started a few months ago when my brother and sister-in-law had a three-month vegan stint after watching the popular Netflix documentary “What the Health,” which warns against numerous effects of eating meat.

I gave the documentary a try, but 20 minutes in, I closed my browser. Bullshit.

However, my brother and sister-in-law raved about the benefits they experienced – heightened energy, better sleep and weight loss. While I wasn’t completely convinced, I was intrigued.

According to The Vegan Society, veganism is a way of living which seeks to exclude, as far as possible and practicable, all exploitation of and cruelty toward animals for food, clothing or any other purpose. Only 3 percent of Americans claimed to be vegan in 2018, up from 2 percent in 2012, according to a study from Gallup.

A study by Meat Science reported that meat is frequently associated with a negative health image due to its high fat content. Some research shows red meat links to cancer, obesity and metabolic syndrome, but other studies show meat as being rich in protein and low in carbohydrates, which increases your metabolism while decreasing glycemic index.

On the other hand, vegan diets are high in vitamin C and fiber and lower in saturated fat, which can lower the risk of diabetes, high blood pressure and even cancer, according to a report by Reader’s Digest. However, eliminating meat and dairy puts you at risk for a lack of calcium, vitamin D, vitamin B12, iron, zinc and omega-3 fatty acids.

My challenge derived from the health benefits, not the ethics of veganism. It was kind of a self experiment. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do this.

 

Day 8

Eating for comfort seems like only an idea. I gave in to an ice cream run with friends and stood in line going back and forth in my mind, ice cream, fruit pop… fruit pop, ice cream. But I said I would do this. I said I would complete this challenge, and dammit if it’s the hardest thing I have to do. I’ll do it. Fruit pop.

Illustration by Raleigh Anderson
 

In her book, “The Vegan Studies Project: Food, Animals, and Gender in the Age of Terror,” Laura Wright writes about the idea of gendered food. When I spoke with her about my experience, she said it outright: It’s easier to be vegan if you’re a woman.

“People care less about what you eat, and women are expected to eat less than men,” she said. “Being vegan in many people’s minds is all about eating less, even though it shouldn’t be about that.” Let the women eat!

Growing up in the South taught me that if you don’t eat meat, you’re different. Strange, even. Whenever someone told me they were vegetarian or vegan, I immediately referenced Bible verses, like Genesis 1, Psalm 8 and James 3, proving that man has dominion over the earth, granting us the freedom to domesticate and eat animals. But references like these don’t matter to modern vegans. Many are concerned with the health benefits of a plant-based diet or rallying behind animal justice rather than any perceived authority we may have.

A long-time vegan and mutual hometown friend, Kellie Perry, had an impact on my interest in going vegan. One day when she was 12, her step-father went hunting.

“I told him that if he came back with a deer, I would never take another bite of meat,” Perry said. He didn’t believe her and returned hours later with a deer. At the time, she didn’t want to be a part of killing animals that she loved, like Bambi. She quit eating meat that day in 1982 and hasn’t looked back since.

Perry officially gave up dairy in 2001. “People think that if you don’t eat what they eat, you’re weird or different,” she said. “I just do it, and it’s not weird.”

Perry enjoys cooking for people, and she cooks vegan meals and desserts for guests and sees if they can tell the difference – they hardly ever do. Her vegan chocolate chip cookies are a crowd favorite.

“The American food industry has tainted our taste buds,” Perry said. “When you cut back and get back and to the basics of nutrition, it’s so simple.”

However, many people have the same reaction to modern vegans as Perry’s family did when she was 12. It’s just a phase, they say.

In her book, Wright discusses the tension between vegans and the representation of vegan identity from a contemporary and non-vegan media – a tension that I felt being from both the attacking and receiving side.

She writes, “cultural discourse that views veganism as simply a more severe form of vegetarian dietary limitation disregards a primary motivation for many vegans – animal rights and animal welfare – as it focuses instead on a rhetoric of dietary restriction, denial, and privation.” Basically, this means that from the outside looking in, veganism is viewed as all the things you can’t eat, rather than the passion or motivation behind what you do eat.

I felt this tension primarily from my friends, who never thought I was serious about going vegan. Every friend I told had the same reaction – raised eyebrows and a poor attempt of masked judgment. No one asked why. Beyond the initial shock, no one seemed too interested.

My claim to veganism didn’t catch on. I ignored weeks’ worth of ice cream invitations. Most invites were followed by a sarcastic, “Oh right. You can’t.”

“I thought you were crazy,” a close friend said. “It made me self-conscious about where we were going to eat because I wanted to pick a place that was going to be suitable to you.”

 

Day 11

A fruit pop was nothing compared to Easter Sunday – a day that, growing up, meant post-church brunch, deviled eggs and chocolate bunnies. But this year’s Easter wasn’t going to be like that. My friend invited me and my family to have lunch with her family. Like a real vegan, I didn’t want to cause an issue over what I was able to eat. This will be fine.

We arrived at Jimmy’s Egg, a nearby breakfast and brunch chain, and within seconds of sitting down at a long table stretching to fit two families, the waitress asked me if I wanted any coffee.

“Cream?”

What’s with that – why does every waitress, barista and hole-in-the-wall coffee shop assume you want cream?

“No, thank you.”

My friends and I never picked a restaurant with a lot of vegan options. It was my own personal challenge during each outing to substitute something for whatever I couldn’t eat.

Infographic by Julia Nall
 

The challenge of creating recipes I could eat was fun for me, even if they were awful. My meals consisted of a lot of kale, sweet potatoes, brussel sprouts and new foods like eggplant. I also had my fair share of veggie burgers, which tasted a lot like rubber. But I didn’t shy away from dairy-free ice cream or granola – an easy trap to fall into. A common misconception is that just because something is vegan means it is healthy. But it’s easy in Millennial culture to slap buzzwords on products and trick consumers into being trendy – vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free, grass-fed, organic, etc. However, a vegan diet doesn’t take into consideration other nutrition facts like high sugar and carbohydrate content.

It takes discipline to eat meatless protein and greens at every meal. Discipline that I didn’t always have.

 

Day 12

The newness had worn off. I could feel my body responding to this imbalance of vitamins, but from the surface, it felt like I was eating too much sugar. I was eating a lot more than I normally do, but the sugar crashes and high-carb intake didn’t keep me full. I could tell that the sugar affected me because my headaches returned. I was hungry every other hour, I didn’t get excited to eat breakfast like I normally did every morning, my skin was breaking out, and I felt tired and bloated. I didn’t feel like I was on the brink of the healthiest way of eating. For some reason, tofu bacon – burnt around the edges because that’s the only way I could tell it was done – just wasn’t doing it for me. It was the mid-afternoons, the three-o’clock-block, that made me want to quit. That empty hunger of wanting something like sliced turkey or a cup of yogurt. And worst of all, the return of my childhood headaches.

 

Day 14

My breaking point arrived only halfway through my initial challenge. Guilt derived from the thought of lying to myself. I set out to do something, and I failed. Breaking a promise to myself felt worse than breaking a promise to anyone else.

I think everyone’s body is unique, and people respond to different foods in different ways. So I stand behind veganism, even if it wasn’t for me. People who incorporate their passions into their everyday lives – ignoring the dirty looks from servers, co-workers and even close friends – and still handle their diet with pride and grace have an admirable story and a cause worth following.

But I don’t think my utter vegan failure takes away from what I learned. I saw how my body responds to sugar and excess carbohydrates, and I realized that eating clean is hard to sustain on a vegan diet without more satiable protein sources. It’s possible, but it takes the kind of effort I wasn’t willing to give. The experience made it more obvious to me that we live in an on-the-go, instant gratification world. If I wanted to create a compliant meal, I had to put more thought into it than just throwing a few things into a pan.

Like no time had passed, I cracked two eggs for breakfast with my eyes half open and my coffee still brewing. Eating meat didn’t bother my stomach. I pan-seared chicken that night with extra vegetables to soften the guilt of not accomplishing my goal, and it felt like a regular day.

But even if I eat eggs every morning, or knock my meat consumption to six days a week instead of seven, or refuse to ever try veganism again, that’s okay. Maybe a carnivorous diet defines us, or maybe it just defines me.